Sick Christmas

Aside

You know what sucks on Christmas? Being sick. I haven’t been sick enough to cancel anything in three years, but today my body decided to shut down.

So I’m quarantined from all the dinner parties, the cuddling on the couch while watching a sweet Christmas movie, the fresh pies and hugs and laughter and…waaaah! Even my dog is depressed.

I took some presents to my boyfriend before he headed off to spend the day with his family, and as I pulled away my face burned with embarrassment as tears rolled down my cheeks.

Things could be worse – I could be living in Syria, or have a deadly disease, or be an orphan – but it’s still depressing to be me today.

So, to cheer myself up, on my way home I took a meandering route through Port Orchard and found some chuckles. Here’s my Christmas Eve journey. They may just be funny because I’m delirious, but what else am I going to do today?

(I almost stopped here, but decided it was safer to go home and share these photos)…

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 1. Ummm…what’s Frosty doing?

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2. It’s ok Frosty, I think you’re getting a prosthetic arm in your stocking!

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 3. Looks like Santa, Mickey and Minnie had a little too much fun last night.

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4. So THIS is where the reindeer are set out to graze! I didn’t think they’d need leashes, but I guess Santa still has some training to do.

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5. PU-LEASE Santa, I REALLY need to talk to you!

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6. Whew! Bet that poor bird is tired.

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7. Paul often wonders why he gets mistaken for Santa. Rick often wonders why he looks so weird.

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8. Did I really see this on a Christmas window, or am I delirious?

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9. This window looked normal…

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…until I saw that Frosty’s broom was on fire…

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…and Santa’s reindeer had sex changes…

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…and Santa not only has something seriously wrong with his ankle, but also seems to have died in a chimney…

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…and these are some seriously depressed polar bears…

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…and it looks like Mama got caught drinking Miller Light behind the Christmas tree again!

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10. Wonder which one didn’t make it?

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12. I heart Scooby 🙂 Looks like he’s about to get a snack…

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But this was my favorite…

And in case you’re wondering, I’m having home made broth and warm apple juice with whiskey for my Christmas Eve dinner. Think I may have the same for Christmas Day Dinner.

Mmm, Christmas Dinner, 2013

Mmm, Christmas Dinner, 2013

Merry (*&^ing Christmas. Enjoy your pie.