The hormones released from Mirena intrauterine uterine devices (IUDs) can wreak havoc on a body and mind.
Even if you don’t have an IUD, haven’t heard of them, or if this topic totally grosses you out, you likely know someone who has one of these tiny plastic devices attached to their uterus and it’s good to know about them. There are about 150 million women worldwide who use the Merina and millions more who are on some type of birth control.
My doctor said she had one, a couple of my best friends have one, it seems like every other woman I talk to has one. When I was looking for effective birth control, it seemed like a no-brainer to get the Merina.
Yes, I’m an all natural girl, but I wanted to make it easy – why is it so often the easy way isn’t the healthiest?
Many women love their IUD, but I learned today that there are thousands of women out there who are suffering because of their IUDs.
I have a confession to make: I’m not happy. I’m extremely uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m anxious and depressed and exhausted.
This morning I woke up feeling like my insides were shaking, as if there was a violent earthquake going on but only my insides could feel it. This has become normal for me.
99 out of 100 nights I wake up two to three times throughout the night. For a moment I think, “Ahh, no problem, I’ll fall right back to sleep.” A moment later pandemonium sets in – my heart races, my stomach, neck and back tighten, I get so hot I can’t bear to have anything touching me, and my mind rampages through anxious memories that have no bearing on anything whatsoever.
I started doing yoga daily. I quit drinking coffee. I eat so healthy I feel like I should win an award sometimes. I take long walks in the beautiful woods around my house. I think of all the things I’m grateful for each morning. I’ve tried every breathing technique I’ve heard of to fall back to sleep. I take daily doses of magnesium and vitamin D and vitamin B complex.
I still feel abso*&%#inglutely miserable. My life and mind feel out of control. I know I have a beautiful life, amazing friends and family, an incredible, loving boyfriend and a mind that can create wonders.
None of that matters when I can hardly think straight or make a decision. I have fits of rage that make my dog, Cricket, cower (I’d never lay a hand on her, don’t worry!), I get up and sob silently in frustration in the middle of the night, I feel like I’m going to throw up when I have to make a decision or leave my house.
Depression and I have done battle before. I’m working on a book about my teenage years of being a suicidal drinker, if that gives you any indication. But I’ve found ways to cope, to not be overcome, to enjoy life even when I feel down, to harness that energy and turn it into positive things. I had not felt the darkness consuming me for a long, long time.
However, this winter has been a battle. I’ll just leave it at that.
I keep wondering: what is the cause of this? Why do I feel like I’m running as fast and hard as I can but still sliding backwards?
My sweet Mum could see I was struggling, so for Christmas she gave me a gift certificate for three acupuncture sessions and a health exam with a Chinese medicine specialist. 15 years ago this same specialist took away my incessant pain with eight acupuncture sessions, despite my skepticism and deep dislike of needles.
This time the doctor asked about each comment I’d made on my intake papers – anxiety, foggy thinking, pain, mood swings, past injuries, sleeplessness and extreme fatigue. It took two hours to go through them all.
I found myself fighting back tears as I realized how out of control I feel, how tired I am, how frustrating this daily battle of the attitudes has been.
Finally, the doctor looked me in the eye and pleaded with me to have my IUD removed, saying it was affecting my uterus and probably other things. I just nodded and said I’d look into it. I then laid for almost an hour with needles poking out of me, feeling strange sensations and occasional blissful reprieves from the heavy weight I’ve felt baring down on my body.
That night I had my first full seven hours of sleep in months. I felt refreshed and energized. But today, two days later, I awoke so full of anxiety I felt I could burst. I found I don’t want to go outside (REALLY weird for me), I don’t want to talk to anyone, I can’t decide what to do next and my brain is in a fog.
This morning, instead of laying in bed sweating and fretting as I often do before I haul myself out of bed, I started researching Merina and anxiety…
WOW, are there a lot of sad stories out there!
Thousands of women are struggling with depression, anxiety, dislodged IUDs and other issues related to IUDs. As I read story after story, a rush of relief wash over me – I’m not alone, I’m not crazy and there may be an answer!
Well, I might be a little crazy, but there is a potential fix for at least part of it: just get it taken out.
Yep, that little IUD is getting taken out of my body ASAP! Maybe my life won’t be perfectly anxiety-free, but I have hope that at least I’ll feel a more like the fun loving, outgoing, creative, happy and organized person that I usually am.
I read that some women have major anxiety or depression issues for awhile after having IUDs taken out, but once the body’s natural hormonal balance is restored life can resume without feeling like aliens are taking over the body.
So be prepared for a more emotional me for a bit, but hold onto hope that you’ll soon see me shine the way I used to.
Have you or someone you know experienced IUD issues? Please share!
Here are a few of the links that helped me understand my IUD and come to the decision to take it out:
- My IUD Nearly Ruined My Life
- How to Eliminate Your Mirena IUD Side Effects Naturally (a bit tedious, but some good nuggets in there)
Thank you for letting me vent! I feel much better now 🙂
Happy (inner and outer) Adventuring!
THIS WILL BE ME AGAIN SOON ~